Moderate Minded Mama

Walking the line between crunchy and modern everyday

Thankful (well kind of) for answers September 20, 2016

Filed under: Uncategorized — laurab06 @ 9:50 pm

On and off for over a year I’ve had random numbness and tingling. Last year, the night before my birthday, it landed me in the ER because it was so prevalent and was moving randomly throughout my body I had to get it checked out. 

It backed off but never fully went away. Blood tests were all normal. CT was normal. Neuro exam was normal. Etc, etc. I was told it was “stress” or migraine and given muscle relaxers. Thanks? Thankfully it calmed down and only flared up once in a while, still no rhyme or reason.

Then over the last month or so I’ve noticed when I lay on my right side my left side feels like it’s asleep. Or if I’m sitting down on the couch (no matter the position) my legs get tingly. It was back and getting worse. Then I woke up one morning and I couldn’t feel my left side. I was freaking out and hubby initially thought it might have been a medicine complication as I JUST started a med for my stubborn kidneys. I wish it was that simple. 

After a call to the neuro they got me in that day and my exam was normal except for less  sensitivity on the affected side. After discussing more bloodwork he agreed MRI was probably best bet. I’m glad I asked for one! 

Turns out I have a mild case of Chiari 1 malfomation. Basically it “causes the cerebellum – the part of the brain that controls coordination and muscle movement – to push into the space normally occupied by the spinal cord” (thank you Google lol). Spots in my skull/spine are too small, brain things are going places they shouldn’t be etc…whoopie! 🙄 It can cause dizzy/fainting spells, lack of coordination/balance, tinnitus, migraines (and probably explains the neuro symptoms I get with mine), vision issues, numbness and tingling…and a host of other things I’m not experiencing thank God. 

After hearing this a lot of random things about my health since high school “clicked” into place that NO doctors have ever been able to figure out. It also made me angry and sad that there isn’t anything I can do to “fix” it. I was probably born with it, it isn’t bad enough for surgery (the only “cure” which can actually take 2-3 surgeries to get it right), and it’s unpredictable. 😔

A week later and I’m STILL processing it and just trying to get on. I mean, what other choice do we have when life throws us a curve ball? I had a REALLY bad moment today that caused it to send shooting tingling down my left cheek/neck/arm but it’s starting to dull down. Gonna have to deal. So, yeah.

Why am I writing/sharing a random blog about this? Because I want you to know that if I’m having a rough day and don’t seem like myself I’m sorry. I makes me really gumpy sometimes and I’m trying to work on that.

I KNOW that there are people who have it far worse off than me, but I’m still kinda upset. 

I KNOW I should be glad it’s not MS or a tumor, or heart condition, or a million other things, but there still isn’t anything I can do to make it “better” and that makes me grumpy.

 I KNOW I’ll be fine. Some days are gonna suck, some days will be amazing. Some days I’m going to sit on the couch and watch Tv all day with the kids and others we will move mountains together. Such is life. 

Finally, I KNOW I’m blessed to have my family and tribe for support and love. Thank you all of you. Know that I love each and every one of you and I’m ALWAYS so grateful for your help and listening ears.

So, if you’re still here with me through this random blog where I’ve just verbally thrown up thank you. I love you, and I’m sorry if I’ve been grumpy at you recently. I’m working on it. 

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