Have you had one of those weeks where NOTHING goes right? Where no matter how hard you try to change your situation, your mood, your attitude NOTHING works? That was my week. Not only mine, but a few friends of mine too. I swear this was the worst week I’ve had in a long time. I’ve learned a lot this week. It’s strange how just a few bad moments/days can alter your outlook on things.
Let’s start with I miss my grandfather. It’s been a few weeks since his passing but almost daily something triggers an emotional response about him. Almost daily Lily says to me “Mama, I wish Great PopPop didn’t have to die. I miss him.” Which ultimately leads to a conversation about the wonderful memories we have of him and looking at pictures. It’s healing but hurts all at the same time. Other times it’s planning for Christmas remembering he won’t be here. Or a random song on the radio that makes me think of him. Sigh. Don’t get me wrong, I know this is all part of the process, but it sucks.
On top of that I’ve been entirely too hormonal, my moods have been all over the place, and my kids have been insane. Seriously (and without exaggeration), Ana cried for almost three days straight. IT.WAS.BRUTAL. NOTHING was helping, nothing distracted her, nothing made her happy. Well, until day two when I ranted at my amazing friends and they suggested meds. I had thought about it but had been trying my homeopathic stuff first. It wasn’t doing squat this week. So, after a dose of Motrin, ‘mac and cheese’, and a nap she was a LITTLE bit happier. Looks like she’s cutting three molars and judging by the amount of food she’s eating at each meal going through a growth spurt too, so maybe growing pains? I think her and I are still physically/emotionally recovering.
On top of all that I started to notice that one of my main cooking staples (almond meal/flour) is no longer an option. Its started making my mouth all itchy…boo…100% boo. I can drink almond milk, eat raw almonds till the cows come home. But as soon as skinned/blanched/heated I’m all itchy. Boo. I was seriously ticked…like really body? Gluten, dairy, and eggs aren’t enough??? Not to mention the nuts I already avoid for various reasons (cashews, peanuts, walnuts)…
This all lead to a few wonderful revelations.
1) I didn’t realize it, but before this week even began I was running on empty. I’ve been too focused on other stuff going on and I neglected myself, our house, and even to an extent the kids and husbands needs. Plus I had a headache for four days… All of the kids screaming, acting out for attention, my frustration, etc., forced me to sit back, relax and regroup.
Thankfully the link above was delivered to my inbox and with it the most perfect verse to focus on this week: “You, God, are awesome in your sanctuary; the God of Israel gives power and strength to his people. Praise be to God!” Psalm 68:35 (NIV). I took a few days at home with the kids to relax, clean, and spend some time with family and God. Just a few days later, I feel like myself again. Thank you God!
2) I need to get back to basics and find reliable gluten/diary/egg free recipes. I’ve stopped experimenting/cooking/baking a lot because I’m sick of flops. This stresses me out beyond all believe. I LOVE to cook and bake. So, I got moms measurements for her all purpose gluten free flour and tried finding a subsitute for almond flour. I discovered that people in my situation are using sunflower seeds in place of almonds…wait, what? They are cheaper, easier to process in my food processor and they WORK???? Bought me some raw sunflower seeds this evening while I was stocking up on flours so we shall see how they grind down in my food processor.
Tomorrow I am making a modified version of my favorite thumbprint cookies with breakfast (let’s face it, cookies and bacon for breakfast?What could be better??). I’ve always used tapioca flour instead of arrowroot (mainly because I can’t find arrowroot anywhere right now!) and I’ll be attempting sunflower seed meal instead of almond meal! If all goes well I’ll post some pictures tomorrow. 🙂
3) I seriously have the best friends ever. Friends who, even when their situation/circumstances are more complex/worse than mine, let me rant. They listen. They offer help/suggestions. They are there. As a stay at home mom it’s CRUCIAL to have your kids involved in activities and to have a wonderful support network. This week reminded me how wonderful my support network is and how much I depend on them. I only hope that I can repay them in kind very soon! You ladies know who you are, and thank you!!!!
Well, my flour has been mixed, the kitchen has been cleaned, the dishwasher is running, tomorrows breakfast ingredients are set out, and I’ve put my week into words here. Now I feel like my night is complete! May you be warm, happy, healthy and blessed this evening! If the thumbprint cookies turn out you shall hear about it tomorrow!!! 🙂