Moderate Minded Mama

Walking the line between crunchy and modern everyday

Feeling Snarky :) September 30, 2012

Filed under: Uncategorized — laurab06 @ 9:58 pm
It’s 10:30 and where am I? Laying in bed, next to our second child who is refusing to be happy tonight.

Today she decided sleep was for losers (about an every other day decision) and that she’d only nap for a 1/2hr before our trip to the apple orchard! We had a blast! I’m so grateful Lil loves the outdoors, to run, play, jump, chase, hide and all those things children are supposed to do :). I was also grateful I wrapped Ana, she was not liking the wind (and ya know, she was sleepy). Oma and Pop Pop met us there and we all enjoyed a laid back Sunday morning at the orchard eating good food, playing and walking…fabulous fall day. 
As we were walking around I couldn’t help but notice all the other babies and mamas there. Sooooooo many infants, must have been a good year to have a baby ;). There were strollers. Carriers. Happy babies. Angry babies. Happy mamas. Angry mamas. Friendly mamas. Judgemental mamas. I got some compliments on our wrap, a few stares and some who just looked confused. However, the best was when I was getting ready to leave the very crowded area to go nurse Ana…I mentioned to Anthony “I’m going to take Ana to the car to nurse out of the wind and noise.” There was a mom who overheard me and boy did she shoot me a look. I don’t know why??? I was KINDA doing her a favor by not sitting down right there to nurse! Not like Ana would have, silly distracted kid. 
What does all this have to do with anything? It just made me think about who we are as moms. What we are bombarded with by society and doctors before we even think about becoming moms is insane. Do you know the one thing they NEVER tell you? LISTEN TO YOUR GUT, GET TO KNOW YOUR BABY, YOU ARE ENOUGH!!! My answers below are the opposite of what we are mostly told by society and medical professionals. Not that some of them don’t have valid points. Just saying there is room for improvement….
Examples:
– “I’m pregnant, what crib/bathtub/swing/bouncer/bottles/toys/gadgets/stroller/etc” do I need?” Have you SEEN a layette suggestion list recently? Holy crap! Babies need clothes, diapers, mom and a good carrier/sling. They don’t care if they are in baby nike shoes or a pair of pjs long as they are comfy, warm, fed, and by the one they have known from the inside out for the last 9mths. 
– “my baby won’t let me put her down during the day, all she does is cry” ok, so hold the baby? Maybe your baby has a strong desire to be with you. It’s ok, it’s normal. You both will cherish these boding moments that are gone too soon.
– “all she wants to do is nurse, all the time, there has to be something wrong” well, long as mamas not in pain and kiddo is thriving, gainig weight and has enough output you’re doing just fine. Babies nurse for more than just nutrition so let them nurse…
– “she won’t nap/sleep by herself” Have you tried wearing her? It’s relaxing for her, promotes bonding for both of you and you can even get stuff done while she naps! Or, you can try napping/sleeping with baby! Ah sleep, glorious sleep. There are many safe co sleeping options out there. From babyproofing your mattress, side carting a crib, bassinet/pack and play in the room, cosleepers in your bed…it’s possible for everyone to get sleep without fighting an infat that wants the comfort of mom.
– “she can’t need to be held/fed that much, don’t want to spoil her” You cannot spoil an infant. If they cry there is a reason. Maybe they are hungry (again), have gas/belly ache (so want to nurse, again), something scared them, they are cold, they are hot, need to be changed, want to snuggle, are over stimulated, are over tired…or maybe baby’s sensory barrier is just underdeveloped and they need a little extra TLC. You cannot spoil an infant. 
No, these answers don’t work for everyone. I guess I’m just feeling a little snarky for the condescending looks I often get when wearing a wrapped Ana or nursing her  (usually very discreetly) in public. I am her mom, I’ve gotten to know what she needs and I feel that the responses we give her are working. You are your child’s mom and you do what works for your family. We are all trying to do our best while swimming through the endless sea of baby/family information out there. Here’s the other secret society doesn’t want you to know…you have the right to question things you’re told to do “for your child” & choose what does and doesnt work REGARDLESS of mainstream and doc recommendations! No matter what paths you take, just be safe and keep on loving that baby and they will love you for all you do for them…well, till they hit teenage years 😉
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