Moderate Minded Mama

Walking the line between crunchy and modern everyday

I Have a Beehive in My Bonnet!!! May 10, 2012

Filed under: Mama Rants — laurab06 @ 4:38 pm

Ok, preeeety sure it’s supposed to be “Bee in my bonnet” but as frustrated as this makes me a beehive seemed more appropriate.

This, http://ideas.time.com/2012/05/10/parents-do-whats-right-for-them-not-for-the-kids/?iid=op-main-lede. Yes that, UUUUUGGGGGGHHHHH. 

Why Time, why? Really? Do moms REALLY need more fuel poured onto the fire of the already existing “mommy wars”? Did you really have to make the cover so ‘provocative’. I mean, realistically, do YOU think that’s how she breastfeeds her son at home? Sigh.

So, yes, I used to be judgemental. I used to think there was only one right way to parent. That what we were researching and doing to follow our gut was “the best”, and well, if you didn’t do it too then boo on you. I learned. I grew up. I am more knowledgable now.

I know that breastfeeding, co sleeping, babywearing and cloth diapering are not for everyone. I know that everyone reacts differently, and sometimes you do what you have to do just to get by. I’ll admit, I’ve had my fare share of non AP, I’m going to scream at you again child please go away from me kinda days. It’s called parenthood, it happens.

I think what gets me though is that this article is not the first one of its kind. It seems that the media is out to continually make mothering harder. As if it’s not already difficult enough right mamas? I don’t want to be openly gawked at because I’m nursing my kid in public just as I’m sure another mom doesn’t want someone gawking at her for giving her kid formula. I don’t want to be given snotty or confused looks when I wear my kids just as the mom who is using a stroller doesn’t want one back from me. 

AP and breastfeeding are not the enemies here people. Articles like this and negative, judgemental attitudes are. According to Times latest piece “AP holds mothers captive” or something like that, it “enslaves them” and is anti feminist. Well, I find mothering to be quite feminist when I think about it. 

I am able to hear, read and see many options regarding child rearing and I can choose what works for us. Sure, sometimes AP is more work. Sometimes, we aren’t very AP. But what we do is what we have chosen! And are quite content with. If it was anti feminist wouldn’t that be implying that I wasn’t given a choice in the matter and I am completly miserable because I’m being forced to do something? 

No sir. I choose this life. 
I choose to be a stay at home mom because I wanted to be with my kids and financiallly it didnt make sense for me to work. 
I choose to breastfeed because, in my opinion, it’s easier. I’m lazy that way. I dont have the patience for measuring, chilling, washing, all those extra steps.
I choose to cosleep for a while because it means that both I and my kid get more sleep.
I choose to baby wear because it means that my kid is happy (usually!) and I can still get stuff done. 
I choose gentle discipline and set guidelines because that is how my kid responds best (most of the time! 😉 ha, kids)

I choose this life because I wouldn’t have it any other way and because it works for us. If it stops working we reevaluate and try again. It is a constant work in progress.

On the flip side of the coin many mamas feel the exact opposite as I do, but if they and their babes are happy than who am I to judge that? 

Time Magazine, shame on you. Who are you trying to convince that we who are APish are trapped? Why are you making us out to be “crazy”? And why must you make those who practice more mainstream parenting feel like APers are secretly getting together to gossip about how horrible they are? Really, that’s not how we roll. Sigh.

Now I’m just sad. Sad that we as moms are pitted against one another over and over and over again. I would love for all of us to just be moms and not be so judgemental. You do what works for you and unless it is honeslty life threatening to the child people should accept it. 

None of us are perfect but we all want the same thing right? Happy, thriving, well adjusted kids who have a thirst for knowledge & their passions, and a love of life. 

Yup. Mama’s, here’s to all of you. To the work you do 24hrs a day in whatever shape it takes on. To the love you give everyone. To all the ways you enrich your children’s lives, however they need it. Here’s to all of us and the many hats we wear.

Now, where’s the glass of champagne I should have been holding while saying that last bit…….

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